Step right up, Step right up, Step right up, Everyone's a winner, bargains galore; That's right, you too can be the proud owner of... The quality goes in before the name goes on. One tenth of a dollar, One tenth of a dollar, We got service after the sale. How `bout perfume, we got perfume, how `bout an engagement ring? Some'in for the little lady some'in for the little lady some'in for the little lady ooh. Three for a dollar. We got a year-end clearance, we got our white sale and a smoke damaged furniture, you can drive it away today. Act now...act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you they come in all colors, one size fits all. No muss, no fuss, no spills, you tired of kitchen drudgery, Everything must go. Goin' outta business goin' outta business goin' outta business sale, 50% off original retail price, skip the middle man, don't settle for less, how do we do it how do we do it, volume volume turn up the volume. You heard it advertised, don't hesitate Don't be caught with your drawers down, don't be caught with your drawers down, You can step right up, step right up. That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices never stops, lasts a lifetime mows your lawn... and it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school it gets rid of unwanted facial hair it gets rid of embarrassing age spots it delivers the pizza and it lengthens... and it strengthens... and it finds that slipper that's been at large under the chaise lounge for several weeks, and it plays a mean rhythm master it makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar and it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up, and it forges your signature. If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product for complete refund at price of purchase, Step right up. Please allow 30 day for delivery. Don't be fooled by cheap imitations. You can live in it, live in it laugh in it love in it swim in it sleep in it live in it swim in it laugh in it love in it... It removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets. That's right... and it entertains visiting relatives. It turns a sandwich into a banquet. Tired of being the life of the party? Change your shorts, change your life, change your life. Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife. and it walks your dog, it doubles on sax, doubles on sax, you can jump back jack, see you later aligator see you later aligator, and it steals your car. It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking, it's a friend, it's a companion, it's the only product you will ever need, follow these easy assembly instructions, it never needs ironing. Well it takes weights of hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff, give you dandruff, an' it finds you a job, it is a job, and it strips the phone company, free take 10-day trial exchange, and it gives you denture breath, and you know it's a friend, an' it's a companion, and it gets rid of your traveller's checks, it's new it's improved it's old-fashioned. Well it takes care of business, never needs winding never needs winding never needs winding. Gets rid of black heads, heartbreak and psoriasis, Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy... c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon... cuz it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors, it disinfects, it's sanitized for your protection, it give you an erection, it wins the election, Why put up with painful corns any longer? It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesmen will visit your home. We gotta jackpot, jackpot, jackpot Prizes prizes prizes, All work guaranteed How do we do it how do we do it how do we do it how do we do it, We need your business, we're goin' outta business, we'll give you the business, get on the business end of our goin' outta business sale. Receive our free brochure, free brochure. Read the easy to follow assembly instructions. Batteries not included. Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available. Step right up. Step right up. Step right up. You got it buddy, The large print giveth and the small print taketh away. Step right up. You can step right up. You can step right up. C'mon, step right up. Get away from me kid, you're botherin' me... Step right up. Step right up. Step right up. C'mon, c'mon cmon, c'mon c'mon, step right up. You can step right up. C'mon step right up. C'mon step right up.

- Step Right Up, Tom Waits

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