You have no new messages
I’ve got a cell phone again. I finally found time to go down to the Verizon store, find out that I was out of my contract period and that they would replace the phone I lost in <cough> January, and get a new one. It cost me $20 and I have a simple clamshell phone from Samsung that looks like a little Star Trek:TOS communicator. I really like it, though it’s positively quaint by the standards of the nerds I hang out with.
After I got the phone I decided I should check my messages. After all, I’ve been without a phone for 7 months.
Of course, no new messages. At least I know my friends know me.